Saturday, June 22, 2013

That is so not Zen

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zen
I am finally back on the writing war path, thanks to some gentle nudging from my writer friends at SCBWI-NJ. In addition to writing, I'm also back to doing yoga and it's interesting how the two practices complement each other and how I encounter similar challenges that take me out of whatever space I'm supposed to be in. Or more accurately: stupid stuff distracts me, and I've noticed a pattern of stupid stuff that I wanted to share because I think my fellow writers and wannabe yogis can relate.

In yoga class:
    zen*
  • Why is it that everyone else here has a perfect pedi except for me? Shit. Should I put my socks on. I'll put my socks on. Oh crap! I'm the only one here with my socks on and I'm going sli-----::slips::
  • I should blog about this when I get home.
  • What is it with these standing poses? This sun salutation is bullshit. Am I having early menopause? It's really freakin' hot in here. Oh my god. Sweat is dripping down my cleavage. Can everyone see that? I think they can see it. Uh oh.
  • ::snort:: The teacher just said cheek. ::snort:: Okay, I have to stop thinking about butt jokes. Oh god, I can't stop thinking about butt jokes. Butt jokes are funny. ::snort::
While writing:
  • Why is it that everything looks misspelled? I know Scrivner is holding out on me. That word doesn't look right. Maybe I should Google it. No, no, no, must resist. Oh, but the browser is right down there at the bottom of the screen taunting me.
  • I wonder if I've missed any updates on Facebook.
  • My email just "dinged." Maybe it's something important. I should check. No, I won't. . . . Oh, it'll just take a minute.
An hour later:
    I am Procrastinating by Taking a Procrastination Test:  I scored as an Above Average Procrastinator
  • Unbelievable. There was nothing good in my inbox. Where'd all the time go? Why am I watching a feminist parody of a make-up application video? How does she get her teeth so white?
  • Oh this story is so stupid.
  • What is the name of that character again? Shit. I've got to start writing these things down where I can find them again.