Friday, November 21, 2014

Missed Connection--The Oddball Original Poem by Yours Truly

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To post on CraigsList or hold behind?
That is the question.
What way is noblest in the mind to handle a missed connection?

A moment that should not have been
and in having may have led to sin.
We know little,but this jist:
Had more happened, someone'd be pissed.

Thus it's missed, and here we are.
Looking close within and out toward the far
regions for answers from ex pats and travelers
about the keys to happiness, bliss, and goodness.

Where did I miss these? In ruddy cheeks and clear blue eyes?
In thin mountain air and wine stained skies?
In the arms of one who promised never to leave me?
In the passing dreams that all deceive me?

Something within me is out of joint. What will fuse it together?
I met someone the other night; a bird of a similar feather.
Is all that we need? This commonality or closeness to commonality?
Does it heal all wounds?

Please, someone, tell me how to connect, and
who to connect to.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Review: The Little Book of Big PR

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The Little Book of Big PRThe Little Book of Big PR by Jennefer Witter
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I recently started my own business, and one piece of advice I remember from internships and conferences is "advertising is what you pay for; PR is what you pray for." Since the rent was due before prayer could be enough, I thought it would be worth checking out the tips in here. Jennefer Witter has plenty of terrific suggestions about how to use free and low cost methods to help get your company noticed by your target audience. She also offers some helpful suggestions about defining and developing your brand and thinking beyond the obvious about who your audience is. (Without that, you might be able to craft a catchy message, but it's not going to go very far.)

Witter's tips on connecting with reporters are great and she even provides sample docs for outreach to the press and others so you don't have to completely reinvent the wheel. Like everything else I've read about PR, and cultivating a client base in general, it's all about building relationships, and that takes time and patience. Now, it would be really cool if Jennefer Witter came up with 100+ tips for overnight PR, but I think that may be something that does come down to prayer.

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Monday, November 3, 2014

Review: Teenagers 101 by Rebecca Deurlein

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Teenagers 101Teenagers 101 by Rebecca Deurlein
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Based on her experience as a high school English teacher, Rebecca Deurlein shares strategies for preparing teens for adulthood complete with the science behind motivation and sample scripts for the very nervous parent.

Dr. Deurlein offers sound advice on many areas that don't get discussed often enough in education: is an AP class always the best option? What do you mean my child might not need (or want to) go to college? If my kid takes a gap year, what is she to do?

One of the best chapters in the book is about AP versus regular classes because it gives a frank explanation of what they are, the "tracks" that remain in schools (even though students aren't officially tracked.) She also explains the difference between IB (International Baccalaureate) programs and the regular curriculum.

I hope that parents who read Teenagers 101 can stick with the book in spite of the resistance that may creep up, especially when it comes to helping kids accept responsibility for their actions. The translation of this being, "Demonstrate that blaming teachers/coaches/or anyone else for their bad decisions" won't be tolerated. Bad teachers are out there, and they can make a class that is already challenging nearly impossible. One common denominator I have seen in almost all complaints even against college professors is a student who has a pattern of finding fault with anyone who gives him less than an A on anything. For this type of student, it's a pyrrhic victory. He might leave high school by arguing his way into a 4.0 and driving the adults around him insane, but that behavior will get caught in college and he will drop out. Blaming others for poor decisions has a way of catching up with us. Dr. Deurlein gives a particularly chilling example of a boy who went after his history teacher because she held him to a deadline for an assignment---just like the rest of her class. What amazed me about this story is that his parents never thought to question his ulterior motives for claiming this teacher was totally unreasonable or after receiving that grade, saying that she was completely incompetent. It's frightening that parents can force a teacher to extend a deadline for a student without even doing a real investigation of their own by talking to the teacher and observing so they can get the whole story.

I am not sure how all the testing and "student-centered" policies have turned schools and colleges into Starbucks of learning. There's a general attitude among students and parents that the teachers are just there to find something that makes students and parents happy. Well, I think most professionals working in education like happy students, and given the choice between two equally viable options will try to go with the one most likely to have happiness as an added bonus. Unfortunately, some subject matter just doesn't make people happy, but needs to be covered anyway. The misconception about consequences for teachers that come out of complaints is frightening. Keep in mind that teachers are poorly paid, may or may not ever get tenure, and have to jump through more and more hoops, and work more and more time for FREE to educate kids. Plus, they work under a microscope, so if anyone says something about them, regardless of how ridiculous it might be, that can do permanent damage to an already thankless career. Even at that, the biggest losers in these situations are the students because they miss an opportunity to learn about the consequences of their actions by making someone else bear them. Sometimes, these petty complaints can also deprive a future generation of students access to an excellent teacher who happened to have a budding sociopath in the classroom.

The only chapter I'm a bit unenthused about is on parent-teacher conferences. Dr. Deurlein actually makes fun of parents of good students who carefully monitor their student's progress and insist on attending these conferences. To make matters worse, Dr. Deurlein points out that parents "who don't need to be there" are taking away a slot from parents who should be there, wait until the last-minute, and complain that they wanted to attend conference, but couldn't because of (choose one): illness, child care, work, dishes, pandas, etc. Do you know how I know about these excuses? Those parents were my community college students. The ones who say those things are the parents modeling for their kids that the best way to handle a tough assignment is to whine until the professor gives you a reprieve and if that doesn't work, whine to every administrator who will listen until someone gives you what you want. So, responsible parents who have fostered good study habits in their kids should step aside so someone like that can book an appointment they won't book anyway? Um, no. That chapter seemed like gratuitous teacher whining.

Overall though, even with that one annoying chapter, this is an excellent book on preparing teens for adulthood, and helping parents prepare themselves to be parents of adults and stop treating their teens like children. It's also one of the first parenting books I've seen that emphasizes how to help students get the most out of school, and for that alone, it's worth the read.

Teenagers 101 by Rebecca Deurlein, Ed.D. is published by AMACOM and will be available for purchase on November 13, 2014 for $16 (paperback.)

I received no compensation for this review.


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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Review: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women

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The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of ItThe Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Valerie Young
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I first heard about the Impostor Syndrome through some random article or post. Sadly, I don't remember if it was NPR or something more obscure. Anyway, as soon as I saw the "symptoms," I instantly recognized it. In a way, it was liberating to put a name to what has been dogging me for as long as I can remember. Also, since I'm naturally a little grouchy and bitter about these things, I got kind of annoyed that none of the mental health professionals I've seen over the past decade caught onto this. Granted, the Impostor Syndrome is not a clinical psychiatric problem in the DSM. It's more of a social phenomenon, but it was such a relief to know that I'm not the only one out there who feels like I need to prove something, and if I make a tiny mistake on a project, it means I'm completely incompetent and can never get it right. The worst part of being plagued by this problem is most of us know it's irrational and it's not a helpful way to go around living your life and running your career. It does light a fire under your butt to succeed though, and that can be very motivating. The cost is nothing ever seems like an accomplishment. Everything that goes well is just a "lucky break."

Valerie Young started her work on the Impostor Syndrome as a doctoral student, and began running workshops for women to help them recognize this problem and develop strategies for overcoming it. The workshops became a big hit with men and women. So, even though gender norms and sexism in the workplace exacerbate the Impostor Syndrome, apparently women are not the only ones affected.

Young balances the book between snippets from studies, sociological and psychological underpinnings, and personal experience as a woman with Impostor Syndrome and a trainer. This was a great read and I definitely plan to refer back to it for myself and my clients.

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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Review: It's Kind of a Funny Story

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It's Kind of a Funny StoryIt's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ned Vizzini's fictional YA account of a week in the local psych ward is one of those books that is aimed at the pleasure centers of my brain. 1. The main character, Craig Gilner, suffers from a mental illness (depression--especially the strong sense of inadequacy regardless of how much he achieves.) 2. Vizzini's style is brilliant and unique. He breaks certain "rules" that I normally can't stand, but dammit, when it comes to this book, I don't care. 3. Strong voice. 4. It ends when it's time to end. No prolonged emotional sappy stuff just to make it seem like you're reading something "really substantial." 5. Vizzini has a great sense of humor.

Also, the characters have staying power. For the first time in years, I have moments when I want to channel Jimmy and say "It'll come to ya!" instead of something more appropriate like, "How are you doing?" Oh, and another frequent flyer in the psych ward, Armelio, always answers the phone "Joe's Pub." I've been tempted to do that, but it's a fantasy best left to characters in a book.

Before any die-hard fans of Vizzini's book jump on me about this, yes, I know. Ned Vizzini said in an interview that the story is "85%" true. Take this however you like, but it's not a good book because of how true it is. It's a good book because the feelings are real.

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Review: The Fault in Our Stars

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The Fault in Our StarsThe Fault in Our Stars by John Green
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Tear-jerkers are books I tend to avoid. I hear about upsetting things all day, and since I'm in a profession that demands the ability to do that without breaking down, I'm okay with it. However, give me a sad movie, a sappy commercial or a sad book, and I totally lose it. So, I've resisted picking up The Fault in Our Stars for quite a while because I didn't want to deal with puffy eyes in my leisure time knowing that's exactly what I'd be in for. Sometimes, books like Sweethearts sneak up on me, so I allow for that, but with this one, really, you know things aren't going to end well for at least one person.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Shameful Self-Promotion: Celebrity Faux Pas on Grammar, Etc.

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I doubt that it comes as a surprise to anyone that writers are the best Tweeters. We are so good at everything, after all.
Grammarly Celebrity Twitter Mistakes

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens

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A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids about Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You OutA Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids about Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You Out by Joani Geltman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

It seems to be universally agreed that teenagers are not fun to parent. Joani Geltman doesn't exactly make it fun, but the way she has organized it should make parenting less stressful. She introduces each challenge in easy to recognize terms. She identifies the basic problem and she tells you how to solve it. How awesome is that? Before parents go out and start having parties in the streets, I have to warn you, that a lot of the advice contained in Geltman's book encourages you to step out of your level of awareness and consider the wild and crazy jungle of the teenage brain.

I commend Geltman for supporting parents in setting boundaries with teens when it comes to patience (or lack there of), entitlement, and consideration for others in general. For most people, these can be taught and when parents drop the ball, they leave the next generation of women with a bunch of failure to launch types. Everyone who has a teen needs one of these books for every room.

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